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Showing posts from 2017

love

devastated with my life.

and Allah send beautiful soul to soothe me.

alhamdulillah,tqvm Allah

Emptiness

The feeling was so vague

As i pulled the curtain to light up the room, i feel the emptiness
I wish i could feel how the light ray that penetrate to my sole heart, but nuuh
i couldnt feel any.

Its like, i was in the midst of throwing myself to the ocean, and waiting to be drown.
Kak sara were so suprised to know that i am no longer the positive Nina that i used to be.
Yes, i am no longer have any might to face the world.

Really, everything seems mess up. Its not that i hate the way Allah wrote my destiny. But i sense the failure that i caused to my world. Its been more than a year, i still did not get the position as academician. I certainly enjoy being research assistant, and i hope i can contribute more.

People were saying that i am really good, saying they should have hired me. But, they dont. This triggered me, am i really should be academician. Should i contribute to Malaysia.

The reason why i am still in Malaysia cause i feel, i am part of this country and i want be part of the a…

Breakfree

There are so many things lingering in my mind. Only Allah kan clear the chemical reaction of my emotion.

Tough issues, my career, my future life, single vs married, family, friends.


I am now trying to breaking free... and to walk away until I can sort my mind and emotion. gittew.

no facebook. no instagram as long as I could possible resist mysself from such temptation.

Its not that I hate those things. but seeing all beautiful image and wonderful moment, my heart ache without I even realized that it already become so painful.

so I have to protect myself, my heart and my mind.

I should breakfree..


see you when I see u.

life. its hard to not get mad.

when I am pissed off. I hardly draw a smile.

heartfelt

As I moves my eyeballs, I will try to glance at him
I know, I shouldn't have this kinda feeling
I dont have any guts, yet I bravely pour my interest

strangely, somehow I do not know how to begin with.
i dont know, whether this kind of feeling start because
I feel the urge to get married, so somehow, I just tend to observe anyone that could fit in.
When i find one that really catch my eyes, i stumbled by my very own ego.

Looking at him, my heart feel different.Thousands things gets into my mind. Nothing that can give me an exact answer. I was wishing, he looks at me, he somehow will fall for me. SOmetimes, i was just in awe to see his charisma, sometimes i would just deny everything coz i know we never meant to be together. gosh. ya Allah

I definitely have an issues with my ego. Ive always believe that only guys should start any relationship, and it will be a shame for any women to show her interest. This genuinely pain in my ass, especially when u know, seemingly, no one had eyes …

Best Laugh in a week

Yesterday I had the best laugh for a week. Thanks to Sister Slam Dunk season 2 for such an amazing performance as a rapper.


Commitment

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For those people whom know me in person, probably know how heedless i am about my phone. To be specific, my whatsapp. I use to hate any kind form of messaging, nevertheless, i can interact via calling. However, somehow, it getting worse. I do realize that i suddenly hate the idea of messaging and whatsapp. Am i having some serious issues with my commitment with social network. I am now abondon my facebook. I guess, i am ignorant
com·mit·ment kəˈmitmənt/ noun noun: commitment; plural noun: commitments 1. the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
"the company's commitment to quality"
synonyms:dedicationdevotionallegianceloyaltyfaithfulnessfidelity
"her commitment to her students" a pledge or undertaking.
"I cannot make such a commitment at the moment"
synonyms:vowpromisepledgeoath; More

Flooding memories of Balai Cerap UTM

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Last night, I revisited my memories back in Balai Cerap UTM. Somehow, when I reflected, I just felt so much love with Balai Cerap. Even when I lived in JB, if I were given chance to enter UTM, Balai cerap will be one of my MUST GO destination. I wonder, what so good or wonderful about Balai Cerap.

Tough time:::
As I drive to Balai Cerap, I could see vividly the footprint we had here. We, I mean by my squad and sszians. I remember the struggle I had to climb the road with 8kg bag filled up with sand. That kinda toughest time, as I am heavy. Each road reminds me of all the short high impact training given by Staff Burn. We had to do knuckles, jumping jack, fireman lift, jalan itik and so many more. It was tough at that time and somehow so much fun to rekindle that moment.

Serenity:::
Not only that, Balai cerap gave huge impact to me as I find my serenity there. After class, I will ride my motorcycle to balai cerap and witnessed the amazing view created by the creator of this universe. …

3 weeks

well, I guess its over.


but guess whaat? I am still not over it, not yet.
This is the very first time since I fall for someone, and that person didnt even know about what I felt towards him.

I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. Allah have plan the best for me and the mankind. He already have someone and I should accept it with an opem heart. Indeed. I actually feel good to know he already have someone, but deep inside myself, somehow it breaks me.

I never have this kinda feeling, no longer than a week, but this feeling have been going for 3 weeks, ive asked Allah to remove this feeling, but it keep coming. It somehow visit me in my dream. I hate myself for allowing this to happen. It give me hope which never could turn into reality.

I wish I never fall for him, never allow my heart to feel this way. Coz seriously, it hurts. it hurts so much that I dont think I able to open my heart anymore.

KOREA : Nina's Lets Go : Everland-Walking Chair

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Its been a while, and i love this moments to the bits.



I do wrote a few post, but i hide it. I guess, i dont have the courage to post it to the public.



ps: I had a crush on someone, and idk how to respond to my own-self. ahah

Richer than before

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Different people will have different bandwith and thus different threshold.

Frankly speaking, (githcew), I definitely dont have lavish lifestyle, but somehow, I do feel that I have enough.Infact, I felt contented. Alhamdulillah.

Still, somehow, theres a time in my life that I feel so bad because I only have rm26 in my wallet and had to fill up the petrol that cost me around rm25. So, I was left with rm1. Whereby, I probably have around rm100 in my bank account that are crucial fo my for work trip in KL. So, thats the moment where I almost reach my threshold. Driving my way back in EDL, somehow I see how majestic the sky is, the clear and broad sky. Where, I am here, healthy, being bestowed by Allah to witness it by myself, the huge world with enormous nikmat that I may never able to count and be grateful for each and each one.


It just make me realized, how rich I am to witness and experienced the beautiful creation by the creator. Which favor of your lord have u denied. Astagfirullah,…

One of a kind, Datuk Dr.

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He is the best in ENT in Johor. 
when my sister had some ear issue, where shes suffered so much. This Dr. without any hesitation asked if my sister have some ulcer. Yes, my sister have an ulcer. Never she thought that her ulcer can cause so much pain to her ears. 
Currently, he is juggling between his profession as medical Doctor and businessmen. Somehow he got to sacrifice his work in Johor because he got to travel to Melaka. Nowadays, most likely, he stay in Melaka. Like this morning, once he arrived from Melaka he will go straight to Wisma Maria to treat his patient. 
My mom works here, so she witnessed that most of the patient, even when the Dr. was not around, they willingly to wait, even after we suggest the other ENT specialist, still, they will stick with Dr. Ong because,, he is so good at it. 
my point is, He is good. 
Somehow, I actually want to share my experience with Dr. Ong, somehow, I got malas. ahha






Rescue Mission

The moment we look into the sky, we would realize how captivating the blue sky is, with the white cotton clouds. Then, we take a small breathe to acknowledge our existence. We open our eyes to witness the greeny trees that soothe our eyes. We hold our hands to notify that, this is reality, and not fantacy. We actually looking into something real, not vague.

In reality, there is so many papers to work with, there's so many issues to deal with, there's so many reports to write for, there's so many drama that you never pay for, and there is you, helpless at the corner of your life, thinking, who am I, what suppose I do with myself.

Often, I keep saying to my very own heart, pull up yourself from the tornado emotion that you created. I guess, at some time, the momentum was too hard, thou it kept turn me upside down. So, I had to fight for myself even harder, trying to figure the best escape plan from the tornado. Calculating the best time and optimum efforts I have to ensure m…

Profiler, profiling

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Criminal Minds

This is the only show that really gets me; intellectually and emotionally. It gets me think and understand the human nature, the vast possibilities and abilities human capable of. The psychology of human that unbelievable discover-able. 
The idea of study- the behavior of human can actually help you solve an issues or in this case, murder. The most impact profiling when the crime scene was messy, but the un-sub (Unknown subject of an investigation) was really organized. It definitely contradicts and by only that profiling, they realized, they are looking into the possible copycat unsub or the wrong unsub. Because it is impossible for an organized person to leave a messy crime scene. Because, being organized is somehow a routine that turn into a habit.
In finding the unseb, these agents also had to look into the timeline.  the music the unsub listen should aligned. If they are not, thats mean, this is not the unsub they looking for. 
I love how they, the profiler meticu…

Doctor?

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as I was driving my car, suddenly the definition of doctor come across my mind. Teacher comes from the words teach, nurse comes from words nursing. 
Somehow, this makes me wonder? what is the origin words of doctor. Does it have specific definition that really represent the words. So, I look up to my crush, Mr. Google.. and tadaaa
doc·tor Origin

Sambutan Hari Bumi 2017 in IPG, JB

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UTM was invited by Jeromi, former president of EVOLTI, Eco Volunteer Temenggung Ibrahim for Sambutan Hari Bumi. This was the first Sambutan Hari Bumi in Institut Perguruan Temenggung Ibrahim, and they planning to do it annually. Last year, they initiate gotong royong perdana and numbers of activities within their campus.

I was very impressed to know they have around 100-200 volunteers to help and enforce the idea of Save nature among 500 students. They have whatsapp group for the volunteers to report any unhealthy activities by the student or lecturer, where they will snap photo and forward to the administration. Definitely, in IPG there's a lot of mata-mata. So, jaga-jaga when u in IPG and congratulations IPG, I was hoping these kinds of volunteers will be in UTM.

Apart from UTM, notable organisations were invited to celebrate the earth day. SAJ, Yayasan Tzu Chi, SW Corp, J-Biotec, Jabatan Alam Sekitar and IPG Lestari were here. SAJ definitely rocks the exhibition where they bri…

Cafe : Overrated or Simply worth it!

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ca·fe kaˈfā,kəˈfā/ noun 1. a small restaurant selling light meals and drinks. synonyms:coffee shop, tea room; More
2. NORTH AMERICAN a bar or nightclub.

Some people may prefer library to have their very own time, but not me. I need a place that not that quite and not too noisy. I love to see and observe the nature of human from different walks of life, thus cafe definitely suits me in so many ways.
During my doctoral, i do not really have an income and personally, i never lavish on food. However, i would still choose cafe most of the time. I believe in the power of CHOOSE. Choose your own cafe that suits you, your money, the ambiance.
In UTM vicinity, there are TWO restaurants that close to the Cafe style, which are SDS (Taman Universiti) and Secret Recipe ( Jusco Taman Universiti). I would choose beverages or food. I remember that i will opt for Horfun that cost rm6.80 (at that time), brings my water bottle and stay there for half day to write my thesis. SDS will play evergreen songs that …

My Voyage begins

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There is so much more in life.  I am back to explore more on myself, my surroundings and this magical world, There are so much to share and i love to record all my voyage in this blog.
So, holla!!